Hey Mom, What's for Dinner?

“Hey Mom, What’s for Dinner?”

How many times did I yell that out to my Mom and how many times did I hear my kids doing the same?

We’re a family that loves to eat – I mean really loves to eat.  Might be from the Italian heritage I was brought up in – might just be we are natural foodies!

My Mom loved to cook and experiment, making her ‘concoctions’ - as she would call them.  Unfortunately, Dad only liked typical meat and potatoes or any homemade Italian dish.  So we were limited in trying other cuisines as we grew up, unless we went out for dinner to celebrate some occasion, but that usually only resulted in going to a Chinese Restaurant.  Dad was married before, and when he went to spend a day visiting his children, Mom took advantage of that day, and experimented away.

When I was older, I was “assigned” to cook for my family and have dinner ready when Dad returned from picking up Mom from work.  I wrote about this in a previous blog, Stir-fry.  But as the years passed, I grew to love cooking more and more.  I still do!  I now live alone, and still spend a ridiculous amount of time cooking dinner for myself – but love to sit down and enjoy my creation!

At a very early age, my children grew up trying all sorts of food, all types of cuisines, and learned to love a variety of dishes as well.  Yes, they still occasionally had the ‘All American’ Macaroni & Cheese, Chicken Nuggets, a quick Macaroni dish, or Hot Dogs in Crescent Rolls (with cheese rolled with the crescent rolls).  But they were saved for those days when our schedules were totally insane and this was a quick fix.

When asked, my children would choose meals that were not the typical dinner most kids their ages wanted.  They were also given the choice of their favorite dinner on their birthday – and again, chose less than the ordinary meals for kids their age.

Chinese Pepper Steak – my son’s favorite – a frequent request.  Larmen (a Japanese noodle soup) was another favorite of both my son & my daughter.  Oh, the Mexican Casserole, Chicken ala Jim (named after my friend who shared his recipe with me), many stir-fry dishes, and so much more. 

But what I remember most about these meals, are the amazing conversations we had at the dinner table; the laughter, the serious questions, questions and discussions about faith, the sharing of our day’s activities and concerns, and the ease my children had in opening up.

I made having dinner together a priority in our family.  Even when they were young enough to be sitting in their high chair – they were at the table during dinner, together as a family.  If my children had activities that took up a chunk of time – I would sometimes make an early dinner we would eat before heading out – or pre-cook something that could be heated when we returned later that evening.  And if due to their schedules we stopped off somewhere to grab a bite to eat – I made sure we sat together, ate together, and still had a relaxed time together.

There were many times when my children would have to come in for dinner, while their friends were still outside playing, waiting for them to return afterwards.  Did they complain about this?  Of course!  But once we started our dinner, the conversations flowed, and I knew it was the right choice.

Not many families sit down together for dinner anymore.  Many feed their children (no matter what age) at a separate time than the parents.  Many eat on the run and some even leave it up to older kids to heat up or fix their own quick meal.  How very sad.

It’s known that more times than not, most fussy eaters are children who eat by themselves, or just with their siblings, rather than with the entire family.  Mealtime to them is just a time to fill the belly, and takes them away from whatever activity they are involved in.  If dinner was a regular time they were able to be with their family, chat with each other, and ask the thousands of questions children have on their minds, mealtime could also be an activity they could look forward to.

Kids who have frequent family dinners are less likely to try drugs, drink, or smoke, and they're also more likely to get better grades - according to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.  Parents engaged with children at the dinner table opens the door to the perfect way to connect with their children, easy communication, building trust, and helping them gain the confidence to make wise decisions in their lives.

I don’t think people realize the amazing gift they have tossed aside due to not scheduling their family to sit and eat together.  Many save this for holiday meals, or special occasions.  But why should it be a “special occasion” for each of us to sit with our children, share how their day has gone, what’s on their mind, and of course enjoy a fabulous meal?

The benefits of having dinner with your children go far beyond what is being served on the dinner plate.

Hey Mom, what’s for dinner?  A question to really think about!