Waiting: n. a period of time spent while expecting something to happen; v. to stay in one place or do nothing for a period of time until something happens or in the expectation or hope that something will happen.
In August this past year, I was in a major accident driving home from work. As I took my regular journey on the familiar road, entering the same major intersection I do most every night, I saw an SUV suddenly make a left-hand turn, assuming to pass me before I went completely through the intersection. On one hand, it seemed like the fastest moment and yet at the same time as if in a slow moving movie – I knew I was going to hit the side of this vehicle.
Sounds, light, heat, airbags, and an ambulance – all at once I was taken into a journey of pain, recovery, rehabilitation and healing.
My schedule is usually packed with activities that I find very little time to slow down and pause. Between my job, involvement in my church, family and friends, very rarely do I just sit and relax. On the rare occasion I do, I not only feel relaxed, but can see the benefit in doing so in all aspects of my life. Yet this doesn’t seem to cause me to be sure to have enough of those moments.
It was quite an adjustment to sit and do nothing for weeks and weeks. At the very beginning of my recovery, while still in a substantial amount of pain, I didn’t have a choice – trying to find the right position, whether sitting or sleeping, was a feat in itself. But as I continued to heal and receive physical therapy, and the healing process progressed, it was hard to be still and let this entire process unfold.
As time passed – I was receiving an abundance of love from so many reaching out to me; bringing me meals, visiting, praying, sending gifts and cards. I also felt a peace that cannot be understood – a “peace that surpasses understanding.” My time with the Lord became not only my usual daily prayer and devotional time – but there were times ‘I knew that I knew’ he was with me and holding me in the palm of his hand.
One Sunday morning after my daughter helped me get settled in a comfortable place on my sofa, she left for church. As I rested, I was praying and going through my morning devotional. My pain was coming and going, a bit more than usual, I felt so distracted, trying to not focus on how I felt. I had just read in Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God.” I felt this was a direct word to me – although it seemed a bit silly to say “Be still,” while lying there on my back; I knew my spirit was far from resting in the Lord or still.
Suddenly, I felt this overall warmth throughout my entire body, I could feel every muscle relax and for the first time since the accident I was totally rested. Smiling, I thanked the Lord for being with me and then, my cell phone went off with a text message. It was a message from my daughter: “Mom, we all just prayed for you at church, hope you’re feeling better.”
As a tear flowed down my cheek I knew that waiting and being still is more than lying flat on your back – it is emptying yourself of everything that burdens you, removing the baggage you continually carry – realizing you don’t need it, although fearful to leave it behind. It’s allowing the one who created you to fill every gap in your thoughts, emotions, and needs. To rely on him and only him for all things.
So I continue to wait each day of my life, in a whole new light; with great expectation that my Lord would fulfill his promise, “They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not get weary; they shall walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31
Beautiful!
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