A Heart of Gratitude

I was praying last night, thanking the Lord for how far my sister has come since her car accident on June 16. Yesterday was her birthday, and as we tried to have a small celebration with her while she was in the hospital, she reached another milestone on her journey towards complete healing.

Marie was off the ventilator – on a collar, which gives her some extra oxygen through her tracheotomy.  She has been doing this for longer periods of time each day for awhile now.  The respiratory technician came in to assess her progress and commented on how well she was doing that day – producing more oxygen herself and taking in much less oxygen from the machine.  As she continued to check everything – she disconnected all the apparatus for the ventilator – smiled – and rolled it out of Marie’s room!

The greatest birthday gift ever!  Marie is completely off the ventilator!  This will enable her to move towards the next phase of her rehab – hopefully removing the tracheotomy and then being discharged from the hospital; then going to a facility for her final rehabilitation!

I rejoiced in this phase of her healing and felt a pull to focus on a true heart of gratitude.  Knowing that this is what the Lord asks of each of us at all times – but especially when we are faced with challenges and trials.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what you have into enough – it can turn a house into a home – a stranger into a new found friend – a meal into a feast.  It can turn feeling you are a victim of a situation into feeling you are actually a survivor of an unbelievable feat.

Unfortunately more people constantly complain about their lives than those seeking to see the blessings that they already have each and every day.

Once you have a heart of gratitude, you are able to see the number of blessings all around you.  You stop being selfish, you appreciate others, you see all your blessings overflowing every day.  A heart of gratitude allows you to see through the eyes of God; allowing you to understand how much he has already done for you, is continuing to do, and you may even get a glimpse into of some of his plans for your future.

The practice of gratitude has been proven to actually boost the immune system.  How amazing that God calling us to have a heart of gratitude is literally a health benefit for ourselves.

I began to thank the Lord for every amazing blessing he has bestowed upon Marie during the last five weeks:

At the very moment she had her accident, at the point of impact, God spared her life; another driver stopped to see how she was – called 911 and called our family to tell us she was in an accident; she was brought to a hospital with one of the best trauma centers; she was brought immediately into surgery (we were not even able to see her when we first arrived at the hospital); she came through the surgery; her care in the Surgical Intensive Care Unit was tremendous; although she had multiple broken ribs, she did not have any spinal injuries; she was unconscious for weeks – yet once she opened her eyes, there was no neurological damage; she progresses daily; although it seems like years to her – she is healing as well as they expect and her future looks very hopeful; she was moved to the Respiratory Intensive Care Unit and began rehabilitation of her lungs, moving closer and closer toward removing her from the ventilator; on her birthday, she was finally removed from the ventilator.

Marie’s support from her family is never-ending; family literally slept at the hospital for the first week she was there – then rotating around the clock – always having someone by her side.  Prayers and well wishes come from anyone that knows Marie as well as those who are supporting each of us – even if they don’t know Marie personally.

Gratitude – something that is expected of us – benefits us in more ways than we can imagine – pleases God – touches the hearts of those around us – allows us to see beauty even in the tough moments in our lives.

I am ever so thankful for my sister’s continued healing and progress.  I look forward to when we can reflect on all the amazing miracles that were poured over her throughout her journey.

I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart;
I will tell of all Your marvelous works. – Psalm 9:1

A Glimpse Into a Son's Heart

As a parent, grandparent, and an aunt – I many times still see the young men in my life as the little boys I love so dearly.

My nephew was one adorable little boy – and many times I still see him as this cute little boy.

I would also say I picture Michael with a basketball in his hand more times than not.  He started playing at a very young age and continued not only through college – but still plays, coaches, and runs a basketball clinic for young children.

Every once in awhile – I do see the young man he is – but in my heart – he’s always cute little Michael.

His graduation day from college was a day we were all very proud of – and I guess it was time to realize the little boy had become a man – and was heading into the real world.

This past month has been a time where Michael has not only grown tremendously as a young man – but has revealed his true heart as a son; showing how very much his mom means to him, his appreciation for her, and how he would do anything for her.

Mother’s and sons – especially in single parent families – have their roller coaster relationships – but just as in the ride – each moment is exhilarating – with its ups and downs – but always wanting to continue the ride again and again.

One glimpse into Michael’s heart – a facebook post he had put on Father’s Day:

Happy Father's Day to all the single mothers out there. Especially the one that raised me. 

Marie Panella.
Sometimes it takes a woman to teach you how to be a man.

From that day forward – we have all been on a journey with his Mom, my sister, following her car accident and her days in SICU; holding on to each other, our prayers, and love as she slowly heals.

The “man” Michael referred to in his facebook post – was not only revealed during this time – but went above and beyond what most young men of 27 would be capable of. 

As he dealt with his own fears and concerns, he stepped up as her advocate as days turned to weeks of medical decisions, concerns, caring and loving.  He spent many 24-hour periods at the hospital – waiting.  He challenged decisions, requested meetings with doctors prior to procedures, and sat by her bedside continually until the one day she finally woke up.

He continues to be with her every free moment he has – following-up on procedures and goals being set forth for his Mom.  One of the doctors had said during the first few weeks of her being in SICU that he can’t wait until Michael’s mother wakes up so he can tell her what an amazing advocate Michael has been for her throughout all of this.

My sister has definitely raised an amazing man.  My nephew has definitely proven to be a loving son with unconditional love for his mother.

Although this experience is nothing anyone would want to have in their lives – I am blessed to have been given the opportunity to get a glimpse into the heart of a son – my sister’s son.  I cannot express how proud I am of my nephew and cannot wait until this is all behind us - when I can share so many beautiful moments about my nephew with my sister, his Mom.

Blessings in the Waiting

 

“Hello – your daughter Marie was in a car accident.”

A phone call that began a journey of panic, fear, hope, waiting and blessings – yes, blessings.

As we continue to wait, and wait, for surgeries to be complete, test results to come back, medical teams to meet with us, updates from nurses, setbacks, accomplishments, and more setbacks, I notice the numerous blessings that are pouring in.


Each member of our family reached out to their network of friends and extended family; the blessings began and haven’t stopped.

Friends in my church – brothers & sisters in Christ – immediately began praying and continue to do so.  Close friends – both through church and in other areas of my life – constantly send messages of encouragement – prayers – scriptures – words of hope – and immense love.  These blessings continue and carry me through each day, each restless night of sleep, and each minute while waiting at the hospital.

My nephew (my sister’s son) has a network of support that absolutely amazed me. He has played basketball since he was a little boy holding an immense ball running around the court.  He played all through elementary school, high school and through college – and now coaches kids himself.  Coaches and teammates poured into the hospital.  This included coaches from when he was that little boy all through those he now works with, being 27 years old.  The comradery among these men, young and old, is truly a brotherhood that reaches deep into their hearts. Their visits, their words of encouragement, their love for both my nephew and my sister are truly an immeasurable blessing.

While at the hospital, as we sit in the waiting area while many visit with my sister, we began many conversations with others whose family member is also in the Surgical Intensive Care Unit.  Sharing concerns, encouraging one another, praying with one another, brought us closer and closer together.  Soon this was another family member we were waiting to hear updates about as well.  I saw this as such a blessing that we were given the opportunity to encourage others as they too encouraged us.  Waiting didn’t seem so dragged out – and moments of laughter also happened as we got to know each other and our hearts were becoming one.  Another blessing, as we grew to love and care for others while each of us continued to wait.

While we stayed at the hospital, many times through the night, friends began bringing us food & treats to hold us over and give us a break from the hospital cafeteria.  Each time we unwrapped some delicious meal or treat, we were able to smile, and actually enjoy a moment eating together.

We continue to wait, but we also continue to be blessed – blessed by prayers, encouragement, visits, meals, love, shared hope, shared hearts.

We wait as we watch my sister continue to battle the injuries and trauma that was instilled in her body.  We wait for each and every accomplishment in her healing.  We wait to see moments we can reach out to one another - when one is feeling like they can’t hold on any longer.  We wait as someone smiles, holds us tight, and lets us know that they are there for us, telling us how much they love us.  And we watch Marie – also waiting for her own body and health to improve.  She is now in a state of waiting; waiting for the next test to give hope, waiting for the next day – another day closer to her complete healing, waiting for the perfect moment when she will open her eyes and see all who love her surrounding her bedside – waiting for her smile.

 

 

 

They who wait on the Lord

shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with

wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

they shall walk and not faint.

- Isaiah 40:31

 

 

Father's Day

Father’s Day, celebrated the third Sunday in June, gives Fathers all around a day to be fussed over – taken out for dinner – given gifts – some useful – some not so useful - or just left alone in their favorite chair with their remote control!

 

My Dad is actually my step-father.  He came into my life when I was just a young girl – about 7-1/2 years old.  He won my heart while dating my Mom, by handing me a teeny puppy through a screen window of our ground-floor apartment.

 

We ended up moving from that apartment to our first house in Syosset LI – with a large backyard.  My dog Pocchi came along as well.  Many years passed, many moves as well - to another house in Levittown, then back to the city to an apartment in Rego Park Queens.  We moved once again to Astoria and I lived there until I was married in 1975.

Being part of a blended family – especially during a time when most were not sure how to exactly blend families – we had many difficult times.  But as we grew and time moved on, I realized how much I cared for my Dad, and how much he cared for me as well. 

My mom became very ill and Dad’s strong-willed Italian temperament was definitely put to the test.  His heart proved to outweigh any of the toughness I knew growing up, as he cared for my Mom for years, lovingly and completely.

Mom died 19-1/2 years ago – I sometimes can’t believe it’s been that long.  Dad lost the love of his life – and has even reflected on the many things that he “could have done better” for Mom as well as for all of us.  To me this is a true testament to the softening of his heart – being the strong Italian, disciplinarian he was.  Sorry to keep bringing up the Italian in him – but for those who are Italian – first born or generations down the line – you understand what an Italian Dad is made up of!

Dad is now 84 – will be 85 in August of this year.  His joy is seen in his eyes anytime his family is around him.  Between me, my 2 sisters, my 2 step-sisters and step brother, and a ridiculous number of grandchildren, he’s most happy when we are happy as well.  He’ll never admit it – but he waits on Father’s Day for each phone call, card, or invitation to breakfast or to dinner.  The more of us that can be together – the happier is his day.

He didn’t have an easy life – he worked hard and struggled most of the time – but did the best he could.  He is now retired, spending most of his days taking long walks each morning and afternoon, getting together with the few friends that are still living, checking out every new movie that comes out – then giving me his critique of each, playing a few card games on the internet, and watching movies at home as well. 

Spending time with him, laughing at ourselves and life, remembering the many years we’ve shared – is a blessing to me. 

I look forward to celebrating my Father – Dad – Pop to his grandchildren.  A day to show him that I do appreciate him, love him with all my heart, and look forward to many more Father’s Days with him.

 

 

 

Happy Father’s Day Dad – I love you!

A Journey of Sweet Love

 

 

My little girl turns 17 today – yes 17 years old!

 

 

 

 

 

 

She was rescued from a municipal shelter at just 1 day old. Her mother had given birth to her while waiting for the dog’s owners to come claim their runaway dog.  When they arrived, they took their dog and said they didn’t want to take the teeny puppy.  The shelter encouraged them to bring the puppy home; let the mother nurse and wean her, bring her back and they would put the puppy up for adoption. The dog’s owners didn’t want to “bother with all that.” 

 

 

 

 

So this teeny puppy was rescued and placed in North Shore Animal League’s Foster Care Program.  She was bottle fed and cared for, hoping she would survive.  She did!  At approximately 12 weeks old, the Director of the Medical Center brought this adorable pup around to the administrative offices to announce that she was ready to go up for adoption.

 

I placed her in my lap while working at my desk.  That’s all it took – I knew I had to adopt her.  Little Maggie came home with me and has been the sweetest, silliest, best little friend to me.  A scary beginning for this pup – but with the most amazing journey – for both Maggie and me! 



Happy Birthday Sweet Maggie!

 



Hallelujah – He is Risen!

Easter Sunday many churches are filled to the brim.  Regular attendees and all those believing that attending an Easter Service will fulfill their obligation to God.  There’s something about the thought that they ‘should’ attend - but why?  What makes so many believe that might make a difference?

Some were brought up in church – and it’s become a custom to attend an Easter Vigil or Sunday Resurrection Day Service.  Some wonder, “Is this all real?  Maybe I should go, just in case.”  While others are just searching.  For what?  Even they aren’t sure.

If only each would pause . . . truly call on the Lord to help them understand . . . look into his Word . . . take a moment to pray . . . be still, and know He is God.

You cannot understand the passion of this season without understanding the passion of our Lord.  You cannot understand the passion of our Lord without knowing him . . . truly knowing him.  You cannot know him by a seasonal visit one day in church.  It takes a relationship – with a Lord that calls us to have this personal relationship with him.  No other “god” offers this amazing opportunity.

God knew me before I was even conceived. (Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I set you apart. – Jeremiah 1:5) 

 

He had plans for me before I was even known.  (For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11)

 

He loved me enough that he came to earth, became man, dwelt among the most unholy beings, suffered and died; just to open the gateway to my being able to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  (For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16)

The suffering portrayed in story books, movies, television mini-series, etc., does not show the true agony he experienced.  Jesus Christ, sinless and holy, was willing to take on himself the sin of the world.  As he hung on the cross, he submitted his will, his power, and his holiness to our sin.  Sin that could never be in the presence of a Holy God.  Sin that caused him, for the first and only time, to be separated from God the Father.  Sin that caused him to feel abandoned – totally alone for the first time ever.  (At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon.  And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" - which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" - Mark 15:33-34)

He willingly did this for me.  For you.  He bridged the gap between the Most High God and mankind – allowing us a way to enter the Kingdom of God – through all Eternity.

God calls us – in a whisper, in a shout, touching gently and sometimes tugging strongly.  We will have many burdens that he will take away.  We will also have many blessings that will be both given and taken.  His goal is not to make all perfect in this world, rather his goal is to make us his; to offer a peace and a promise for all eternity.  (For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. - 2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

As I attend church this Easter Sunday, celebrating the Resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, I am in awe of the fact that he thought I was worth his agony, his pain and suffering, his separation from his Father, even his death.

But – Hallelujah – he rose from the dead!  (The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.  He is not here; he has risen, just as he said.  Come and see the place where he lay.  Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee.  There you will see him.'  Now I have told you." - Matthew 28:5-7)

 

 

 

He conquered sin and death that separated me from the God of the Universe.  He called me to be a daughter of The Most High God.  He welcomed me to be a part of his Kingdom plans. 

He allowed me to call him Lord & Savior.

 

 

A Simple Gift - Childhood Memories

Valentine’s Day was approaching, and I was gathering sweets and fun surprises to mail to my grandchildren.  A package from Nonna always brings a moment of joy.

While picking up these treats – I also bought something for my daughter-in-law and was thinking of what to send to my son – when a memory of special times came to my mind.

A simple box of Lorna Doones and a box of Bigelow Sweet Dreams Herbal Tea.

I was hoping this would touch my son’s heart – and I then saw the picture posted above with the following note on facebook:  One day, most likely in a sermon, I will explain the real significance behind these two items that arrived in the mail today, and why my eyes welled up when I received them. Thanks, Mom. Love you, too. {:'-)

This simple gift was filled with childhood memories.  Memories of special moments between a mother and her son.  Of time when after putting his baby sister to bed, we would sit and have some Lorna Doones and a cup of “Moony Tea” (as he would call it).  Memories of never ending conversations.  Memories of love shared, trust growing, and hope being held onto.

I am saddened by the crazed schedules I see most families adhering to these days.  I wonder if they ever just stop, and share a moment, share their hearts, and chat about what life may have in store for their future.

Sports, dance lessons, art classes, music classes, etc. are a part of most children’s daily life.  I too remember running around with my children for activities after most school days and many weekends as well.  But as much as those were important and fun experiences for my children, the memories held onto are from those moments when we stopped – sat down – and shared time.

Priceless time – when hearts meet and love holds onto the most precious moment between a mother and her child.

Gratitude

“Gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation is a feeling or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.”

I was reflecting on what true thankfulness is and came across amazing writings and info that really touched my heart.  This definitely caused me to reflect on whether  or not I was truly grateful; giving me a challenge to look deep into myself at how gratitude, thankfulness or appreciation lives in my heart and my life.

Gratitude has been said to mold and shape the entire Christian life.  Martin Luther referred to gratitude as "The basic Christian attitude" and today it is still referred to as "the heart of the gospel." 

 
As each Christian believes they were created by a personal God, Christians are strongly encouraged to praise and give gratitude to their creator.  In Christian gratitude, God is seen as the selfless giver of all good things and because of this, there is a great sense of indebtedness that enables Christians to share a common bond, shaping all aspects of a follower’s life.  Gratitude in Christianity is an acknowledgment of God’s generosity that inspires Christians to shape their own thoughts and actions around such ideals.  Instead of simply a sentimental feeling, Christian gratitude is regarded as a virtue that shapes not only emotions and thoughts but actions and deeds as well.
 
According to theologian Jonathan Edwards, “Gratitude and thankfulness toward God are among the signs of true religion.”
 
Does my faith reflect thankfulness to my Lord?  Do I take all that was given to me for granted?
 
Edwards claimed that the "affection" of gratitude is one of the most accurate ways of finding the presence of God in a person’s life.
 
Those moments when the question, “Where is God?” comes to mind – is that due to my not truly reflecting on and embracing gratitude for being called by a Holy God to be his child?
 
Gratitude is an essential part of the act of worship and a part of every aspect of a worshiper’s life.  According to the Scriptures, all things come from God and because of this, gratitude is extremely important to the followers of the one true God.
 
The Scriptures are filled with the idea of gratitude. Two examples included in the psalms are "O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever," and "I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart" (Ps. 30:12; Ps. 9:1).  Prayers often incorporate gratitude where the worshiper states that out of gratitude, "You shall love the Eternal, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might" (Deut. 6:5).
 
To be in worship, with a heart of gratitude opens my soul to connect ever so deeply with my Lord.
 
Embracing these concepts, scriptures and attitudes is the only way to truly understand gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation through the eyes and heart of God.
 
Once you stop being selfish you are able to appreciate other people, especially to appreciate when they are attempting to be kind to you; then you can be truly grateful.  Once you take your eyes off of yourself and see through the eyes of God and his scriptures, you can understand how much he has already done for you, is continuing to do for you, and has planned for you through all of eternity.
 
Am I truly grateful? Do I realize the amazing grace my Lord has bestowed upon me – a grace that all he wants from me is my acceptance of his gift of grace, his love, and his forgiveness?  Is my heart filled with gratitude and the joy of his promises?
 
Gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation.  How much is it really a part of my life?

Color Me Beautiful

My daughter received a gift certificate for a session of “Draping” – also known as “Seasonal Color Analysis” – the secret to enhancing your natural beauty by using colors that are complimentary to your skin, hair and eye tones.

She was able to bring someone with her – and she asked me! Nothing like receiving a special surprise gift and a chance to spend a day with my daughter!

I had heard about this process many times and always thought it would be great to see what “season” I was, was I already using the correct – or incorrect – colors, and if this really made any sense.

We met Lola – our Makeup and Wardrobe Color Consultant. She was pleasant, fun, and was absolutely amazing. We chatted a bit about ourselves, our jobs, what makeup we used, and our favorite colors.

We then each had a turn to sit in ‘the chair’ – lights on – mirror ahead and the process began.

Looking at our hair color, eye color and complexion – she began draping fabric across us – discussing how different colors either enhance our look or bring attention to flaws.

It was amazing as I sat there and saw my complexion actually look as if it changed before me just because of certain colors being draped. Some colors made me look washed out, and showed flaws in my complexion. Others actually brought color to my face, softened dark circles under my eyes, faded marks in my complexion, and made my eyes “pop.”

Lola also recommended various changes in makeup; shade of foundation, how to wear my eye makeup, and recommendations for lip coloring. By the end of my session – recommendations actually had me use less makeup than I usually do, and totally changed colors & tints from what I had been using.

  

Our “seasons” were revealed – my daughter’s being autumn, mine being spring. For me, many colors were already favorites of mine – but I realized I don’t wear these colors enough each day. Colors that would hinder my complexion – wash out my eye color – were also pointed out.

We left with personalized color palettes; color swatches tucked away in a handy wallet – that can be used in the future for choosing clothing I already have in my wardrobe, as well as used for “shopping with swatches.” All make-up recommendations were noted and there was absolutely no pressure to purchase anything from this salon.

A fun day with my daughter – discovering a bit about ourselves and our "seasons" – and of course we ended with a delicious dinner at Grand Lux Café!

How b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l!

Glancing at the Past Year

Taking a moment to look back at how 2012 began, reflecting on the past year at the beginning of 2013; seeing where I have been blessed, where I have grown, where I’ve taken advantage of opportunities, where I've been obedient to my faith, where I've missed opportunities, and where I've been challenged for 2013.

I share some of the most precious moments I’ve written about.  I pray each touches your heart as well, causing you to reflect on the New Year and challenge you too to take every opportunity given in 2013.

Looking forward to 2012 - New Beginnings

Celebrating my Son’s Birthday - Tell the Next Generation

 

Looking back at the many difficult events of 2012 – I must remember the many Mercies in Disguise - Mercies in Disguise

My responsibility to continue to pray for my grandchildren - A Grandmothers Prayers

 

Sharing the awesomeness of God - How Awesome is My God?

A reminder to take the time to slow down - S-L-O-W D-O-W-N

 

34 Mother’s Day Celebrations - A Mother’s Heart

 

Celebrating my Daughter’s Birthday - A Daughter’s a Daughter for the Rest of Your Life

A glimpse of my feathered friends - Feathered Friends

 

A determined Nonna trying to visit her grandchildren - Nonna Determination

Remembering the Good Ol’ Days - I Actually Remember

 

A tribute to my Mom - Mom’s Beautiful Smile

 

A gift of love from my children - A Haven at Holden Beach

 

Holding on to precious memories - Devastation and Healing Memories

A challenge to my faith - Selfless Faith