A Journey - Back to the Present

Two Junior High School girls became friends - inseparable friends!

 

We go through life thinking someone is truly our BFF – but how many truly end up that way?

Relationship issues – life issues – moves – whatever – many times pull friends apart and suddenly we are “best friends” with someone new.

Looking back – are we really remembering what it was like – or what we imagined our life was?

I was in Junior High School back in 1964-1967 (I think) – oh my, I’m that old!  My family moved to Rego Park, Queens in the middle of my seventh grade and once again, I was the new girl in the class. When I was very young I lived in Astoria Queens, but then moved to Long Island during most of my Elementary School years.  I started seventh grade and then a few months later, we moved back to Queens.

This was a pivotal time in my life.  I was super shy, small for my age, always looked like I was 7 (well almost), and was now in an atmosphere very different than living in Syosset & Levittown LI.
 

I had to take public transportation to school – and this in itself scared me to death.  I was sure I was going to end up in some slum somewhere, lost for years.  My mother took me on the bus my first day, to show me where I was going – after that, I was on my own.

To be honest, I don’t remember the actual time I met Claire (on the bus ride? In school? In our neighborhood?).  But we quickly became friends.  We were inseparable.  Most who knew us called us the Bobbsey Twins – only you old folks will remember what that means – haha!

Graduation from Newtown HS - 1970

We grew as young girls in an apartment complex.  We traveled to school together, shopped together, cut school together, joined the drama group together, and even got our first jobs in NYC together.

Claire loved – and still does – the theater.  She was very involved in the Drama Club in our Junior High School, and encouraged me to try out for a part.  I did – and loved being a part of this.  At first I think I had a couple of lines, and was petrified.  But after that, I loved this world so much that I tried out again the following year for The Diary of Anne Frank.  I played Miep, the woman of the couple that hid Anne Frank and her family.  Claire was an Assistant Director.  Even though it was only a Junior High School Drama Club, we received rave reviews – including one from the Principal of our school.  This experience began my immense love for live theater.

We were at an age where babysitting was the best way for girls to earn some money before they could get working papers.  We loved children and soon had many jobs.  We even “shared” a babysitting job for a little girl of the family that owned a local luncheonette in our neighborhood.  We babysat each night during the week, while the wife went to work at the luncheonette, and also all day Saturdays.  Instead of one of us taking the job – or alternating days, we both went together and split the money earned.  This gave us more time to hang out and plan our lives!

Nancy with Andrea - Our joint babysitting venture!

Claire with Andrea - Our joint babysitting venture!

We went to the same High School too.  We were zoned for a high school that was falling short for both education and safety.  During our last year in junior high, we filled out applications for a different school – giving whatever reason we possibly could to take various courses, that our zoned school could not offer, courses we were hoping to continue in our studies through college. 

We both got accepted to the same high school and continued our journey together.  While in High School, we also joined the school Choir – another suggestion from Claire, which proved to be a favorite activity.

Newtown HS Choir

I spent most of my spare time at her apartment with her family.  Her parents fascinated me.  They were caring, fun, creative people.  Both were involved in the theater; her mother was an actress and her father a writer.  Her grandmother, I also believe, was an agent – or whatever.  All I know is that Claire brought me to my first Broadway Show – I was hooked!  This was the first of many shows.  Broadway at that time was a glorious place – live performances in elegant red carpeted theaters – a reason to dress up (because you would never attend a performance dressed casually).  We would head out to buy a new dress for every performance.  We attended parties and gatherings of “theater people” – and I loved it.  Grandma became my grandmother as well.  She lived in Greenwich Village and I used to love going to her walk-up apartment, sometimes staying overnight.

Our Moms with Grandma

We went to our first dance together, jumped for joy over our first loves, cried over our first heartbreaks, and even made clothes with Simplicity Patterns.  I went on my first airline flight as I secretly went to Washington DC for the day!  Yes I did!  There were many long talks, belly laughs and many tears over many years.

During our trip to Washington DC

 

During our trip to Washington DC

While in high school we decided to look for part-time jobs, earning more than what babysitting offered.  To be honest – Claire suggested we do this.  Looking back, I think most of my “next steps” were suggested by her and I then agreed.  She seemed confident, made a decision, and acted on it.  I thought about it, and thought about it, and . . .   But if she suggested it, I then thought why not?!  I may have been uncertain, but I had the friend that would push me along.

I looked at flyers on store bulletin boards, help wanted ads for local jobs – and did find a job as a cashier in a local grocery store.  Once again, Claire suggested we go into NYC and go to an agency.  An agency?  We’re just looking for part-time jobs after school!  But we did – and we both got clerical jobs in offices in NYC.  After working for a while, she suggested we try for better jobs, now that we had experience.  We did – and once again were employed.

For two young girls, we had an amazing relationship that allowed us to truly be ourselves – honest and open - without ever worrying about not being accepted.  I had many insecurities and so did she.  But, she encouraged me as I did her.  We had many similar interests, and those that differed, we explored because our friend was interested.  I do believe she pulled me out of my shell much more than I think I did for her.  Not really sure, since only she knows. 

We both had some deep trials as young women.  I think we were the only persons who could understand truly what the other was feeling; the fears – the hopes – and the amazing support of each other.  I remember her mother saying to me, ‘Nancy, I think you are both going through these situations at this particular time, so that you can both be there for one another more than usual.  Nothing is more precious than a true friend.’

Time went by, and we continued to socialize as young adults.  But eventually our paths parted and we only saw each other occasionally.  What exactly happened, I truly do not remember.  Maybe I pulled away and I don’t want to remember.  We were in touch once again, many years later, as adults – and caught up by letters for a while – but once again lost touch.

I thought about Claire many times in my adult life.  Many times as my faith grew too.  As a young teen, she had invited me to her Church’s Youth Group, where I attended weekly and then attended services at her church as well – this I did without my family’s knowledge.  My faith began to stir and I felt I wanted to become a part of this church family.  I met with her Pastor a few times and was planning to join as a member of her church.  I was excited and came home sharing this with my parents, asking them to attend the service when I would become a member.  Although they did not attend church themselves, not only did they not support my decision, but almost condemned me for abandoning 'Our Church' – making me feel unsure – and possibly wrong in doing this.  I decided to not go through with it and held a lot of anger within me because of this.  I still attended the Youth Group, occasionally attended Sunday service, but soon pulled back all together. 

My journey continued and eventually my faith was once again stirred, where I knew for certain I wanted to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  I now know the Lord prepares hearts, and calls us to be his own.  Looking back, I truly believe the time in Claire’s church was one of the first seeds planted in my spirit.  I always wondered, was Claire also walking with the Lord?  Did she continue her journey of faith?

At the end of last year, I received a friend request on face book.  It was Claire – my friend – by Bobbsey Twin!  My heart jumped as many years of friendship came to my mind.  Of course I accepted and we have been “chatting” on face book a bit.  I'm truly hoping we will visit one another in the very near future.  

Long story short – we have lived many years, traveling many paths, with celebrations, marriages, children, tragedies, loss, joy, faith, blessings, etc.

But as we were “catching up” – there was no doubt in my mind that I knew this person I was chatting with.  I wasn’t going to have to “get to know her” all over again.  This was my friend, my friend Claire.

Both of our journeys through life led us to the same ultimate place – two faithful women connecting once again as dear friends.