A Journey - Back to the Present

Two Junior High School girls became friends - inseparable friends!

 

We go through life thinking someone is truly our BFF – but how many truly end up that way?

Relationship issues – life issues – moves – whatever – many times pull friends apart and suddenly we are “best friends” with someone new.

Looking back – are we really remembering what it was like – or what we imagined our life was?

I was in Junior High School back in 1964-1967 (I think) – oh my, I’m that old!  My family moved to Rego Park, Queens in the middle of my seventh grade and once again, I was the new girl in the class. When I was very young I lived in Astoria Queens, but then moved to Long Island during most of my Elementary School years.  I started seventh grade and then a few months later, we moved back to Queens.

This was a pivotal time in my life.  I was super shy, small for my age, always looked like I was 7 (well almost), and was now in an atmosphere very different than living in Syosset & Levittown LI.
 

I had to take public transportation to school – and this in itself scared me to death.  I was sure I was going to end up in some slum somewhere, lost for years.  My mother took me on the bus my first day, to show me where I was going – after that, I was on my own.

To be honest, I don’t remember the actual time I met Claire (on the bus ride? In school? In our neighborhood?).  But we quickly became friends.  We were inseparable.  Most who knew us called us the Bobbsey Twins – only you old folks will remember what that means – haha!

Graduation from Newtown HS - 1970

We grew as young girls in an apartment complex.  We traveled to school together, shopped together, cut school together, joined the drama group together, and even got our first jobs in NYC together.

Claire loved – and still does – the theater.  She was very involved in the Drama Club in our Junior High School, and encouraged me to try out for a part.  I did – and loved being a part of this.  At first I think I had a couple of lines, and was petrified.  But after that, I loved this world so much that I tried out again the following year for The Diary of Anne Frank.  I played Miep, the woman of the couple that hid Anne Frank and her family.  Claire was an Assistant Director.  Even though it was only a Junior High School Drama Club, we received rave reviews – including one from the Principal of our school.  This experience began my immense love for live theater.

We were at an age where babysitting was the best way for girls to earn some money before they could get working papers.  We loved children and soon had many jobs.  We even “shared” a babysitting job for a little girl of the family that owned a local luncheonette in our neighborhood.  We babysat each night during the week, while the wife went to work at the luncheonette, and also all day Saturdays.  Instead of one of us taking the job – or alternating days, we both went together and split the money earned.  This gave us more time to hang out and plan our lives!

Nancy with Andrea - Our joint babysitting venture!

Claire with Andrea - Our joint babysitting venture!

We went to the same High School too.  We were zoned for a high school that was falling short for both education and safety.  During our last year in junior high, we filled out applications for a different school – giving whatever reason we possibly could to take various courses, that our zoned school could not offer, courses we were hoping to continue in our studies through college. 

We both got accepted to the same high school and continued our journey together.  While in High School, we also joined the school Choir – another suggestion from Claire, which proved to be a favorite activity.

Newtown HS Choir

I spent most of my spare time at her apartment with her family.  Her parents fascinated me.  They were caring, fun, creative people.  Both were involved in the theater; her mother was an actress and her father a writer.  Her grandmother, I also believe, was an agent – or whatever.  All I know is that Claire brought me to my first Broadway Show – I was hooked!  This was the first of many shows.  Broadway at that time was a glorious place – live performances in elegant red carpeted theaters – a reason to dress up (because you would never attend a performance dressed casually).  We would head out to buy a new dress for every performance.  We attended parties and gatherings of “theater people” – and I loved it.  Grandma became my grandmother as well.  She lived in Greenwich Village and I used to love going to her walk-up apartment, sometimes staying overnight.

Our Moms with Grandma

We went to our first dance together, jumped for joy over our first loves, cried over our first heartbreaks, and even made clothes with Simplicity Patterns.  I went on my first airline flight as I secretly went to Washington DC for the day!  Yes I did!  There were many long talks, belly laughs and many tears over many years.

During our trip to Washington DC

 

During our trip to Washington DC

While in high school we decided to look for part-time jobs, earning more than what babysitting offered.  To be honest – Claire suggested we do this.  Looking back, I think most of my “next steps” were suggested by her and I then agreed.  She seemed confident, made a decision, and acted on it.  I thought about it, and thought about it, and . . .   But if she suggested it, I then thought why not?!  I may have been uncertain, but I had the friend that would push me along.

I looked at flyers on store bulletin boards, help wanted ads for local jobs – and did find a job as a cashier in a local grocery store.  Once again, Claire suggested we go into NYC and go to an agency.  An agency?  We’re just looking for part-time jobs after school!  But we did – and we both got clerical jobs in offices in NYC.  After working for a while, she suggested we try for better jobs, now that we had experience.  We did – and once again were employed.

For two young girls, we had an amazing relationship that allowed us to truly be ourselves – honest and open - without ever worrying about not being accepted.  I had many insecurities and so did she.  But, she encouraged me as I did her.  We had many similar interests, and those that differed, we explored because our friend was interested.  I do believe she pulled me out of my shell much more than I think I did for her.  Not really sure, since only she knows. 

We both had some deep trials as young women.  I think we were the only persons who could understand truly what the other was feeling; the fears – the hopes – and the amazing support of each other.  I remember her mother saying to me, ‘Nancy, I think you are both going through these situations at this particular time, so that you can both be there for one another more than usual.  Nothing is more precious than a true friend.’

Time went by, and we continued to socialize as young adults.  But eventually our paths parted and we only saw each other occasionally.  What exactly happened, I truly do not remember.  Maybe I pulled away and I don’t want to remember.  We were in touch once again, many years later, as adults – and caught up by letters for a while – but once again lost touch.

I thought about Claire many times in my adult life.  Many times as my faith grew too.  As a young teen, she had invited me to her Church’s Youth Group, where I attended weekly and then attended services at her church as well – this I did without my family’s knowledge.  My faith began to stir and I felt I wanted to become a part of this church family.  I met with her Pastor a few times and was planning to join as a member of her church.  I was excited and came home sharing this with my parents, asking them to attend the service when I would become a member.  Although they did not attend church themselves, not only did they not support my decision, but almost condemned me for abandoning 'Our Church' – making me feel unsure – and possibly wrong in doing this.  I decided to not go through with it and held a lot of anger within me because of this.  I still attended the Youth Group, occasionally attended Sunday service, but soon pulled back all together. 

My journey continued and eventually my faith was once again stirred, where I knew for certain I wanted to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  I now know the Lord prepares hearts, and calls us to be his own.  Looking back, I truly believe the time in Claire’s church was one of the first seeds planted in my spirit.  I always wondered, was Claire also walking with the Lord?  Did she continue her journey of faith?

At the end of last year, I received a friend request on face book.  It was Claire – my friend – by Bobbsey Twin!  My heart jumped as many years of friendship came to my mind.  Of course I accepted and we have been “chatting” on face book a bit.  I'm truly hoping we will visit one another in the very near future.  

Long story short – we have lived many years, traveling many paths, with celebrations, marriages, children, tragedies, loss, joy, faith, blessings, etc.

But as we were “catching up” – there was no doubt in my mind that I knew this person I was chatting with.  I wasn’t going to have to “get to know her” all over again.  This was my friend, my friend Claire.

Both of our journeys through life led us to the same ultimate place – two faithful women connecting once again as dear friends.

It's Your Serve

So what do you think of when you hear the word serve?  Serving in a game of sports?  Serving your family a delicious meal?  Going out to dine, and being served by a waiter or waitress?  Even our computers have servers.

But what did Jesus mean by serve? In Mark 10:45 Jesus says, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”  

Jesus is the quintessential servant; coming to reveal the Kingdom of God to all humanity, spending his time on earth teaching his disciples and crowds of people the calling of God the Father to all mankind, even unto his own death – taking on the sins of a fallen world – opening the door to repentance, forgiveness, and everlasting life.

His example of a servant's heart shows us that without genuine love, we cannot truly serve one another, let alone him.  Romans 12:9-13 states, "Let love be genuine.  Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.  Love one another with brotherly affection.  Outdo one another in showing honor.  Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.  Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality."

When I put my world aside, along with my needs and desires, and truly, with genuine love serve others, there’s a satisfaction I experience that is like none other.  Why I only “sometimes” do so, I cannot honestly say.  Perhaps it’s inner selfishness that convinces me that I deserve so much more time “for myself,” to the point that I blind myself to the many, many opportunities I have to not only serve others, but to experience the satisfaction that can only come from an obedient heart.

As I reflect on this season of Easter, I am reminded of the amazing gift of grace and mercy that was poured down upon my life.  I am reminded of a love that is purely genuine, which I could never match.  Yet the giver of this love has called me to be his daughter, called me to repent, called me to forgive as he has forgiven me, and called me to walk in a spirit of servant hood.  

After attending the NY CityServe re:new Conference, with Luis Palau & Francis Chan, I was given an opportunity to register to serve with NY CityServe as they mobilize thousands of church-connected volunteers to serve in the neighborhoods of NYC through unified initiatives.   

Last weekend I was a part of an initiative where there were over 500 volunteers at 11 sites in every borough of NYC - collectively serving family shelters, women’s shelters, pre-K sites, afterschool programs, and city parks in some of the highest need neighborhoods in our city!

I worked with an amazing group of volunteers helping to revitalize the Briarwood Salvation Army – Family Shelter in Jamaica Queens.  I was able to be a part of a team that worked all day painting bathrooms, reorganizing and painting their library, painting 150 hallway doors and trim, and so much more.

As we all spent hours working together, I felt an amazing welling up in my heart with love for all those that would be at this Family Shelter, that they would have refreshed surroundings as they received help in moments of turmoil and uncertainty.

I was also reminded of Jesus’ words in Matthew, “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.”   

Although I was not working directly with those in this shelter, I knew that I had served each one by spending this time with others refreshing their surroundings.  I also knew for sure, that I was serving the Lord on this day.

It’s your serve.

A Burning Within My Heart

“The average person in the world today, without faith and without God and without hope, is engaged in a desperate personal search and struggle throughout his lifetime.  He does not really know what he is doing here.  He does not know where he is going.” – A.W. Tozer

Whenever we turn that calendar from one year to the next, most everyone seems it necessary to “start again.”  Resolutions – New Beginnings – Promises – Diets – Attitude Adjustments – etc.  These usually last a few months at best, some only a few weeks.

What makes it so difficult for us to step-it-up, make a change, learn from our past pain, experiences and mistakes, and turn around?  What is deep within our souls holding onto old habits – anger, selfishness, and unforgiveness?

I know for myself, before I allowed God to reach deep within my soul and capture my heart, I didn’t see my true self.  I fell into the mistake time and time again, believing that I was “OK” – that I was a caring person and was selfless.

As my faith grew, and my awareness of who I was without God being a major part of my life, I realized that even my “good deeds, my kindness, my giving my time for others” usually only felt complete once I was acknowledged, thanked and recognized.  So much for selflessness!

In this world, love seems to have gone from mankind’s heart, now and me seems the mantra of today’s youth, and forgiveness is used more to manipulate and abuse rather than to heal.  Even protesters, starting with a plea for justice, end up stirring the air of hate and unforgiveness.  As a result, the gap seems to widen rather than close in.  Sin seems to have overtaken human nature as cancer does the human body.

The more God’s grace filled my heart, the more I knew I am nothing without him, without his love, without his purpose for my life.  I continue to hold onto his word, his promises to me, that with him I can know my purpose in this world.  I can see my surroundings through his eyes, mourning the overwhelming evil, but at the same time allowing him to live in and through me as I share my life with those around me.

My Christian faith allows me to have a personal relationship with the God of the universe, the God who created me, the God who felt it worthy that he should lay down his life for me.  And as with any relationship, I must communicate with him by time spent in prayer, reading his word daily, and allowing him to guide my path. As a result joy becomes fervent, hearts are pressed together, and my soul can shine with the influence of God to those around me.  He brings people into my life that I can encourage and care for as he does me.  I have been given a great and mighty privilege to share my faith with others.  

So as I begin another year . . . I pause with thankfulness and humility.  The Lord graced me with faith.  I move forward knowing he is with me, he will carry me through trials and difficult days, he will encourage me with his word and his presence, and he will give me a peace that surpasses all understanding. 

I recall the way the two travelers felt as they unknowingly walked with the risen Lord, “And they said to one another, were not our hearts greatly moved and burning within us while he was talking with us on the road and he opened and explained the scriptures?” (Luke 24:32)

I thank the Lord that not only do I have these same scriptures to burn within my heart, he walks along with me on my road of life, and he lives in and through me as I continue on this journey. 

Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long. – Psalm 25:4-5